A Typical Work WEek
By Alex Perry
Today I received the parts for the new mechanical secretary they said ordered for me last week. She’s being put together by them as I type this out. They told me that Janice (the old one) had been sent to a new job. I sent an E-Card to Janice’s ID to congratulate her.
They are still putting Janice’s replacement together. Guess what? They’re naming her Janice. How’s that for originality? Anyways, I didn’t finish my work assignment on time. I got distracted again. There was a fly exploring my cubicle. I had fun watching him fly around.
They installed Janice. She’ll be monitoring my work as the old one did. I can’t tell if she’s watching now, but I’m pretending to type out reports, so I should be fine. I’ll get back to work, but I’m still watching that fly out of the corner of my eye.
Janice killed the fly.
I’m worried that someone may be reading these entries. I thought my notes app was a secret, but it was open when I came back from the bathroom. Janice is still in the corner of my cubicle, but I feel like she’s watching. I’m going to try and find her power switch so I can live in peace. I miss the fly that was here yesterday.
I found her switch. Flipped it while her back was tur-
Everything is fine. Disregard all previous messages. I am now being productive at my work station.
I am now sitting down to do my work.
I have completed my work and am now heading home.
I feel a little wary of Janice now. I don’t remember typing any messages yesterday. In fact, I don’t remember coming home from work yesterday. But here I am, so I must have gone home. Anyways, I’m going to try and get rid of Janice today.
There’s a stapler on my desk, I’m sure if I clocked her metal head hard enough, she’d shut down. Hopefully, this will work. I can’t stand it anymore.
Terminal has been rebooted. User has been sent to the mainframe for reprogramming.
See first entry.